Troubled Hollywood

Watching The Golden Globes and the Red Carpet event before it tonight, I just had some random notes, some thing I felt these people were definitely in need of knowing, or specific questions I had for them.

Note to Zac Efron: Were you in my dad’s medicine chest today? It looks like you got into that leftover bottle of Vitalis he still has hanging around.

Note to Peter Gabriel: I’d rather listen to you sing than talk. Next time you’re being interviewed, just break out in song.

Note to Amanda Seyfried of Mamma Mia: Was that duct tape hanging off your shoulder? I have no idea what you were talking about as you were being interviewed. I couldn’t take my mind off that tape.

Note to Sigourney Weaver: When standing next to Nancy O’Dell and Beyoncé, you looked like an Amazon. I just never realized how tall you were before, or how short they were.

Note to Sting: I didn’t even recognize you at first with the dark hair. Nevertheless, I think it suits you very well.

Note to Miley Cyrus: When your nomination was being announced, was it really necessary to stick out your tongue to the camera?

Note to Billy Ray Cyrus: I’m hoping you had a few words for Miley in the limo afterwards to whatever party it was you were headed to. I would have had a few words my 15 year old son had pulled that, Golden Globe nominee or not.

Note to “The Guy With the Bald Head”: How can you be in this business and not know who “the English actress” is? For gosh sakes, Kate Winslet won two awards tonight. Did you notice everyone being uneasy after you said she stole your crying bit?

Note to Drew Barrymore: You look fantastic, and I adore your hair tonight. Whatever movie it was that you were promoting with Jessica Lange, I’m there.

Note to Mickey Rourke: Your heartfelt acceptance speech, especially thanking your dogs for being there for you when no one else was, made me forget all about your bad plastic surgery job. I hope you sued whoever that surgeon was, by the way.

Note to Sally Hawkins, Best Actress In a Motion Picture Winner: Take a breath. It’s okay.

Note to Tina Fey: I hope I wasn’t one of the internet people you were addressing. I do not wish to “suck it.”

Note to Self: Add Slumdog Millionaire, The Wrestler, and In Bruges to your list of movies to see. They definitely look worth it.

Photos courtesy of moviesblog.mtv.com

Tags: Drew Barrymore, Golden Globe, Miley Cyrus, Peter Gabriel, Sigourney Weaver, Tina Fey, Zac Efron

This entry was posted on Monday, January 12th, 2009 at 3:25 am and is filed under Commentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.