Troubled Hollywood

I’ve moved my laptop from the kitchen island to the couch, and I’ve brewed my cup of tea. Incidentally, I was disturbed this morning to see I accidentally bought decaf. What was I thinking? I’ll have to boost that caffeine count up later with a Diet Coke or something. Anyway, I’m all ready, so let’s dish a little.

Can we just leave Princess Diana alone finally? Does R.I.P. ring a bell with anyone over there in the UK? She died over ten years ago with boyfriend Dodi Fayed in a tragic car accident, while being pursued by paparazzi, yet Fayed’s dad still can’t let it go. Mohammed Al Fayed accused the British intelligence agency of arranging for Diana and Dodi to be killed, and during a special inquest, the director of special operations back in 1997 has said authorization for anything of that type was never arranged for. Like he would have admitted it had it happened? Look at all the denial after Watergate. A special message to Mr. Fayed, “Dude, let it go already.”

Anyone seen Kirstie Alley lately? She’s been dropped as the spokesperson of Jenny Craig, the weight loss guru, but no one seems to know why, and no one is talking. Kirstie lost 75 pounds with Jenny Craig, and has been promoting the program the past couple years. Yet, the news now comes out that she’s done with the promotion, and their new spokespeople are Valerie Bertinelli (who has appeared alongside Kirstie in ads in the past) and Queen Latifah. Did she gain the weight back or want too much money? Promising to launch her own weight loss program next year, I think all we need to do to solve this mystery is get the paparazzi to snap a pic of her. Let’s hope they don’t trap her in a tunnel in Paris, though.

Count me in as one of the people breathing a sigh of relief to know that with the end of the Writers’ Guild strike, the Academy Awards would be airing as planned, slightly stuffy as usual. Not that I understand my fascination with this, as my favorites rarely win. Along with this yearly ritual of mine is also the watching of Barbara Walters Oscar Special, where her scheduled interviews are like a Who’s Who of Hollywood. This year, she’s interviewing Miley Cyrus, undeniably the star of the moment, Harrison Ford, with a new Indiana Jones film out soon, Vanessa Williams, recently of Ugly Betty, as we don’t talk about Miss America or those pictures anymore, and Ellen Page, star of the hugely successful film Juno, that really needs to win something. If Page wins, look for her to celebrate by calling pals on her hamburger phone.

Not everyone feels like celebrating, though, as Britney Spears, we hear, “is bummed.” What a shame. The reason? She was denied visitation rights yet again to her children. Bummed? If I was denied seeing my kids, I’d be a little more than bummed, but that’s me. Then again, when my kids were an infant an toddler, I didn’t go off partying, riding around in cars without underwear either. But again, that’s me. Nor did I shave my oddly-shapened head, then mosey over to the tattoo parlor. Again, that’s me. Apparently, she’s so down, she even cancelled some dance rehearsals. Sadly, we all know who the losers are in this one.

With all that off my chest, it’s time to put down the gossip rags and get up off that couch. Besides, I need to get a little of that caffeine I’ve been missing by grabbing that Diet Coke.